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Hilarious 'Conservative Teen' Magazine

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Via The Wonkette: "... the articles in The Conservative Teen are written by grownups, who all happen to be involved with either The Heritage Foundation, Fox Business News, the Family Research Council or the Media Research Center...".* Ana Kasparian, Jayar Jackson, and Steve Oh have some laughs over the articles in it on The Young Turks. * http://wonkette.com/468250/amazing-magazine-the-conservative-teen-has-a-lot-to-say-none-of-it-by-teens Subscribe to The Young Turks: http://bit.ly/eWuu5i The Largest Online New Show in the World. Google+: http://www.gplus.to/TheYoungTurks Facebook: Twitter: http://twitter.com/theyoungturks
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Text Comments (701)
realbeautyness25 (1 year ago)
Huh 🤔
Adam Palmer (1 year ago)
Teen magazine fools
HeyHannah (1 year ago)
"They" - I hate that; you can't just group all conservatives and all liberals together. By criticizing "the conservatives" who criticized "the liberals" you're being just as bad as the people writing this. So hypocritical.
Angelkidd (1 year ago)
I wanna be a graphic designer (I am 17 at the moment) and even though I am from the UK, I get annoyed at the idea that I might have to design something like this. I don't wanna discriminate against people, it would just be embarrasing since I am liberal.
Destiny Raider (2 years ago)
Let's make a 'Progressive Teen' magazine. We could have some half naked sjw dykes on the cover, showing their adopted children how to put condoms on a cucumber.
Israel N (8 months ago)
Destiny Raider lol
in wino veritas (2 years ago)
a magazine, which is just created to indoctrinate young (dumb) teenagers.
Cameron Brown (2 years ago)
Did you know generation z (after millennial) is the most conservative since greatest? I'm proud to be one; see conservatism is the new counter-culture. I'm considered a rebel for DARING to want to make America great again. Screw this magazine, but screw you tyt also!
Spooky Puppy Demon (2 years ago)
I actually lived with conservatives and I've seen what's in their warped minds.
YankeeSpirit (2 years ago)
Hustler is more age appropriate than this bad influence :P
Charge0Complete (2 years ago)
That was Brian Williams in the background? At first glance I thought it was Al Sharpton....
Charge0Complete (2 years ago)
why? He looks like sharpton
S.Y.T reviews (2 years ago)
I really hope you are just a troll.
Yog Sothoth (2 years ago)
So someone had a bunch of leftover stock photos for the 90s and they picked one for the cover?
Dara Marc Sasmaz (3 years ago)
"Why abstinence works". Here is a map of the USA. The states with the worst ratings are blue http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-health-topics/images/teenbirthratemap2011.jpg
OkamsRazer (3 years ago)
teens need to be told why abstinence works (one of the articles on the cover)....gee Well, Johnny, when you don't slip your naughty bits into your girlfriends naughty bits and then have an orgasm inside her, she wont get pregnant? Wow, really? What a shock. Lets just ignore the following facts: *Teens are going to have sex. Get over it. *Condoms work to 98-995 effectiveness in the common market. *Sex is not a "bad thing". *Asking Teens to simply "Don't" without further context, explanation or justification leads to MORE sex (of other varieties) but also and strangely, more teen pregnancies because its a statistical fact that "Red" states have more of a teen pregnancy problem overall than "Blue" states. Big surprise.
ETericET (3 years ago)
But Ana ... The magazine is made for conservatives .. they ARE a bunch of complete idiots. We should be happy they acknowledge this.
Chrisgirl867 (4 years ago)
Josh nonprofit (4 years ago)
the songs users listen to our changing relationship statuses are crazy (:
Eliza Miller (4 years ago)
She looks nothing like Kiera Knightly. Kiera is much prettier.
Eero Haapala (4 years ago)
If you haven't checked out GOPTeens on Twitter yet I highly recommend it ;) https://twitter.com/GOPTeens
the500mphtortoise (4 years ago)
is it weird i kind of want a copy now?
treehuggerkyle (4 years ago)
I already know plenty of ways to *not* have sex with girls, I don't need to read an article about it! :-P
ROCkUguys13 (4 years ago)
I don't think there is anything wrong with having a magazine like this, except that it needs to be written by teens, or at least most of the time.
michael del zitti (4 years ago)
both partys suck and are corrupt liars...tyt suck for not pointing that out.
Kevin Hosford (4 years ago)
If you don't believe in sex education and your idea of the talk is "don't have sex", have fun babysitting your grandkids while your teen's at the prom.
A (4 years ago)
Is the magazine for real? It looks like a bad parody...
busdriversprayer (5 years ago)
Things that inadvertently parody themselves,,, either you get it or you already drank the tea flavored kool aid.
sebastian sauers (5 years ago)
@theshepard2999 You have to be an awful parent to smoke weed with any child, let alone you're own. You're comment and the 71 likes you got on it shows how out of touch you ridiculous liberals are with reality.
BlitztheDragon (5 years ago)
Makes it incredibly hilarious that a libertarian (an annoying one at that due to his smugness) contributed to it. Seriously, libertarians can and do have some good insights into freedom, but their perennial alliance of so many of them with neoconservatives (usually justified as being the lesser of two evils) is only hurting them and their credibility.
MyTotalRemedy (5 years ago)
Chris Matthews. Tim Wise and Sharpton have freakish racial views.
crzykd (5 years ago)
only fools will listing to them. They are rich.. After having your baby it will be no healthcare for you or baby. Be smart and look after nr1 that is you. Use Condom is you are smart in the first place don't listing the the pope that guy is "virgin" or something don't listing to the fools, they will drop you the minute you have that baby. After have the they start calling you welfare slut.
bdor24 (5 years ago)
1. Many liberals, including tyt, funnily enough, despise Obama and Holder. 2. Communism and liberalism are not interchangeable. Get your facts straight. 3. Who is Matthews and why is he an idiot? 4. Many liberals, including myself, are not vegan. 5. White privilege... oh, dear lord, you're not one of THOSE guys, are you? And this is among a goldmine of other criticisms. Don't believe everything you hear on talk radio.
marck gusty (5 years ago)
Thanks this video is amazing.but i make like $25 a day with ONLINEJOBSFROMHOME.UPHERO.COM
MyTotalRemedy (5 years ago)
Rand wasn't ugly, just average looking. But do liberals have a Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, Whoopi Goldberg, or Joy Behar pin-up? Do you really want to go there?
MyTotalRemedy (5 years ago)
How have Obama and Holder been on that eh? Kids used to be distrust the establishment. Liberal parents: You must obey Obama, read Marx, watch idiot Matthews, not eat meat, boycott Papa John's and Chick-Fil-A, think your video games are sexist, and hate yourself for your "white privilege". "Precious" had liberal parents. I'm sure they rebel against liberal parents all the time. Most kids...would NOT want a parent like Hillary Clinton. She's like that mean-spirited nagging scold great-aunt.
bighands69 (5 years ago)
Smoking cannabis has nothing to do with being a liberal or conservative. Just because a person smokes weed does not make them like liberalism.
thebigone545 (5 years ago)
Description of words I don't know? Word counts on articles? Thats ****ing awesome! Those are the plugins I install on my web browser so I can navigate the internet more efficiently! Why does that make me stupid! My IQ measures 145, last time I took it, and my Myer Briggs Test measures over 80% in to each category INTJ. I'm studying at University of Waterloo for Software Engineering. I wish more magazines had that layout.
Ali G (5 years ago)
What will work is dismantling welfare and making abortion mandatory-- but you pay out of your parents paycheck. So baby producing welfare shits in harlem starve or learn to not leech.
Ali G (5 years ago)
That is like a welfare recipient supporting singapore and hong kong's far right model of economic success over the american and nordic left wing models of reserve drainage and economic failure.
Ali G (5 years ago)
Toplel, we call it 4 chan and reddit. Check your own fucking privilege and stop telling us to.
InflatedSnake (5 years ago)
This "story" summarised: "lol conservatives are stupid liberals are the best"
Guy Ice (5 years ago)
It is so fun and easy to make fun of conservatives.
duckvenom (6 years ago)
This is horrible. Was this supposed to be a story or ... I don't know what. Horrible job guys.
Ain't that the truth. LOL
johnnieblaze502 (6 years ago)
Hahaha, then you have a very biased and unclear view of this country. No wonder you blindly mock Fox. I'm sure you got the idea that it was the "cool" thing to do from watching garbage like these Daily Show wannabe's. Maybe you should worry about your own countries problems and laughable behavior, rather than obsess over America.
Lorryslorryss (6 years ago)
Here is the sort of person who keeps generic, baseless, xenophobic, absurdities on their clipboard for easy access.
Lorryslorryss (6 years ago)
Correct. I definitely watch TYT out of morbid curiosity to see what these American's will do next. I guess that must make you the complete idiot?
johnnieblaze502 (6 years ago)
I could say the same about viewers of this channel. Good job liberals.
johnnieblaze502 (6 years ago)
You're right. That kid would just smoke pot with his loser parents, then grow up to be another loser with nothing to show except his loser kids that smoke pot with him. Why rebel when nothing is expected of you?
piratetiki1705 (6 years ago)
Hahahaha Funny Conservatives, teaching kids about fiscal responsibility, good citizenship and being a productive member of society instead of, oh I don't know, being a moronic slave to government handouts or a plantation serf to the Democrat party. Hahahahahah yep that's funny kids. Hahahahah. Morons.
Lorryslorryss (6 years ago)
It's readers are a mix of complete idiots and people reading out of morbid curiosity. Both of these groups want objectionable and dumbed downed content for different reasons, which this magazine delivers. Good job Fox.
timadd64 (6 years ago)
This looks hilarious
BlackHispanicTParty (6 years ago)
How ironic you comments are because the Young Turks share the exact same anti-Israel views as Nazi Germany along with the Islamic Jihadists of Obama's Muslim Brotherhood. Saudi Arabia pays TYT's to spew disinformation to keep Americans clueless.
BlackHispanicTParty (6 years ago)
The simple-minded drivel of liberal news is a 100% bore. Most of those among the Young Turks are out-of-touch angry underemployed college Obama Zombie Bot talking-heads that retort short emotive snide remarks, which mock, demean and make-light of independent thinking. They usually seek free pot for the masses because having a tuned out and addicted American voter is essential for America's destruction. Such voters who are easily manipulated and are among a low-information audience.
Daniel M. (6 years ago)
That would be beyond liberal, a bit irresponsible for parents to provide weed to their son... But I see your point
QuartuvLarry (6 years ago)
Jesus. I'm conservative, and this magazine IS embarrassing
Abgef (6 years ago)
I can't name an abstinent teen
Grace Calambas (6 years ago)
Abstinence kinda does work but you can't tell a teen to not have sex and expect it, because things might go too far and they won't know how to protect themselves/others forms stds, aids, unwanted pregnancy and adults need to tell teen girls that a baby won't keep the man around unless you're married
Stephen Doyle (6 years ago)
Pregnancy rates for teenagers are much higher in abstinence only states. The logical disconnect here is that you are telling teenagers not to have sex, and you think that will work. When it absolutely will not, and does not.
NUTCASE71733 (6 years ago)
Try searching for teen pregnacy by state, every poll consistantly shows that the states that routinely vote republican and in turn abstinance only policy tend to have higher teen pregnancy chances than states who have actual sex education courses in public school.
NUTCASE71733 (6 years ago)
Anyone in texas according to the figures.
I'm a pooping unicorn (6 years ago)
i know one... but i think he's gay
ImmortalDestructor (6 years ago)
Unfortunately, it does happen. There are real-life Alex P. Keaton type young Republicans born of left-wing parents.
Xx_Loaf Bloke_Xx (6 years ago)
I'm not abstinent but I kinda wish I was. :/
callowaymotorcompany (6 years ago)
Kids with liberal parent dont really rebel though.
Phredreeke (6 years ago)
This is the magazine children with liberal parents read to rebel against their parents.
Masluxx (6 years ago)
one of the main signs your spouse is cheating on you is that they start accusing you of cheating on them. In this case Fox and the Republican party rationalize their actions by accusing, what they deem as the other side, of doing what they are in fact purposely orchestrating.
Dark (6 years ago)
Conservatives make decisions because a book told them to. Conservatives make decisions off of lies. Lies like Vietnam, watergate, weapons of mass destruction, and the death squads in el Salvador,also the Iran-contra Scandle that you republitards don't want to talk about for some reason could it be that you were giving money to Iran in exchange for weapons? The right wing in this country makes me sick.
MJFan625Moonwalker (6 years ago)
Yes, Ana, the media is bias whether you wanna believe it or not. God liberals are annoying. They make decisions based off emotion; not fact.
Kate Augu (6 years ago)
I would buy it !!
bigraviolees (6 years ago)
In this Issue Of Conservative Teens-- "Abstinence can be fun" "Give to Charity, Not" "Run For School President, run a smear campaign" "Successfully Arm yourself while getting past School metal detectors, your 2nd amendment rights' "The Bible and you, doing your part to squash anyone who disagrees"
DQuake (6 years ago)
I should have listened...
kacie bombastic (6 years ago)
Don't click show comment...just don't.
ivan osorto (6 years ago)
not sure if trolling troll or just ignorant
Christian Marshall (6 years ago)
"Welcome to the Debt Paying Generation" Because Republicans DEFINITELY haven't been trying to double interest rates on Stafford Loans...
maxpolaris99 (6 years ago)
Do you have any evidence to back up that assertion?
SuperBspb (6 years ago)
Maybe you should learn to spell, and I am a male. You are clearly mentally deficient.
Sagar Jain (6 years ago)
not sure if a troll or american.
SuperBspb (6 years ago)
Not sure if Troll...
Sagar Jain (6 years ago)
pascal's wager! seriously? are you 8 year old? is this your first time on the net?
pbrskater26 (6 years ago)
How can I be more moral then somthing that dose not exist, lets say he did...I would have believed in a deistic god..where he used evolution to create life on earth and let nature take its corse, there was no fall of man, no supernatural devine intervention ect. You need to read michal shermers the science of good and evil...a scientific understanding of morality!
pbrskater26 (6 years ago)
Sooo, you think our biological instict that is hardwired into us is sin? I dont act out on instict all the time, I use my head....not let god think for me. I used "my" better judgment....I dont need rules to be moral, loving US; being alturistic and empothetic torwards are fellow man makes us moral. We dont need god or fear of the devil..or god to do good deeds. Being run by fear is never a good thing...we must use are intellect and reson..after all thats what seperates our species !
pbrskater26 (6 years ago)
I dont wont to be a sheep or slave to authority
pbrskater26 (6 years ago)
So basicly we have to be sheep...screw that
pbrskater26 (6 years ago)
Yes because its indoctranation, all about conforming to authority and rejecting free thought
imaginepeace63 (6 years ago)
learn to spell wrong. w-r-o-n-g. A 8 year old can spell that word right. Since when did it have a i in it.
calamityx1 (6 years ago)
Well... they sort of DON'T know this stuff, otherwise they'd be "smart" enough to know how to protect themselves with condoms, which Abstinence-only education DOESN'T teach.That's the whole issue here. What's worse, Abstinence-only mentions the failure rates of condoms and makes no mention of their success rates. So, if anything, they're DISCOURAGING condom usage, and that's dangerous...
calamityx1 (6 years ago)
And to clarify: when I say that abstinence is the most effective defense, I'm not referring to actual principle or teaching of it. I'm saying it's effective in the same sense that staying home is best way to avoid getting into a car crash.
calamityx1 (6 years ago)
"What's wrong abstinence"? Well, nothing. Is it the most effective defense against STI's and teen pregnancies? Absolutely. BUT-bare with me here- BUT it should NOT be the only thing that's being taught to our kids because let's face it: teenagers will be tempted to have to have sex regardless. Look at Mississippi: the most conservative, religious state in the US. They exclusively teach abstinence-only education. Yet... they still have the highest number of teen births in the US.
Duck Man (6 years ago)
"the magazine assumes its reader's are idiots" well narh, the people who read it are from Arkansas or Alabama so sorry if you are intelligent and you are from there
didjano (6 years ago)
I only know one abstinent teen, but I think he just can't get a girl.
eleminatus (6 years ago)
abstinence is not effective for several reasons. First is the natural urges. Sexual intercourse is one of our most basic desires, driven by instincts and our biochemistry. To say "dont have sex" is like saying "Dont eat". Secondly - sexual tension. To put it simply - no sex = exponentially growing stress. And we know how good stress is for us! Third - health benefits, like improved heart health, increase in immunoglobulin or burning calories (among others). Abstinence is nonsense!
InnuendOwO (6 years ago)
Take a look at which states push abstinence only in schools. Now take a look at the states with high teen pregnancy rates. See, it's true that being abstinent works. Good luck getting teenagers to not have sex though.
InnuendOwO (6 years ago)
"theres no argument that says abstinence only doesn't work" Except facts, I suppose you're right.
MisterJessup (6 years ago)
I can't name an abstinent teen.
BrianzXz (6 years ago)
Wow. Those kids are RRREEAAALLLYYY white!
sunkeninblood (6 years ago)
First record of firearms was the siege of De'an in 1132. Oldest metal gun is from China 1288. Weren’t introduced to Europe till the mid 1300s. Egyptians never “got stupid” they were invaded by Alexander and occupied by foreigners for most of their history. Even w/o Egyptians what about the Inca Maya Aztec Mongols Ottomans China(- the Qing) Sumerians Babylonians. Don’t know if it’s true that Jews instigated the Turks to invade the Byzantine, but so what? If they threw me out I’d invade them to.
elchippe (6 years ago)
Yuan Dynasty hand cannon and archaeologist find artistic depiction of use hand cannons in Sichuan province in China dating from 1100 AD, but probably they started earlier using bamboo ( that is hollow inside)
sunkeninblood (6 years ago)
The Chinese did use guns before us. Look it up. DNA taken from mummies is 90% the same as the modern population of Egypt who are pretty dark. The Mongols never got to Egypt because the heat made their bows fall apart, and the suggestion that the Mongol expansion was instigated by Jews is moronic. Do a little research. By the way, are all lies Jewish or are there other varieties?
sunkeninblood (6 years ago)
Here’s what'll happen. I’ll make slightly darker kids. Oh the horror! You could argue that your culture is superior because of your better technology etc, but claiming genetic superiority is silly. Ever heard of ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia? Central/South American societies had cities at least as large and much cleaner than in Europe, and were only conquered because the conquistadors had guns (Chinese invention) and diseases. Other races were fine until the Aryan man started to leach off them.
sunkeninblood (6 years ago)
So Jews are people who believe in any scientific progress made in the last 50 years, and are looking forward to that made in the next 50. As opposed to you Nazis, who are so deathly afraid of anyone not like them that they bury their head in the sand and slowly drift into irrelevance as inbread isolationists as the rest of the world progresses into the 21st century.
sunkeninblood (6 years ago)
1/4 Swedish, 1/4 Danish, 1/4 Irish, and 1/4 Czech. No jew about me. If genes had anything to do with the beliefs one holds, I'd be a racist Jötunn who wished people called me kaiser just like you.

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